Warning - Potty Talk

I was watching Star Trek Next Generation the other night.  It was the episode where Data is experimenting with a dream module and has started having nightmares.  In his nightmare three men are viciously deconstructing him.  My eldest heard but did not see what was happening and so asked what was transpiring.  I responded, "The bad guys are tearing Data apart."

"What do you mean, 'tearing him apart'?" my son asked.

"Well, they ripped off his arm, then his leg, and then his head."  I answered.

"Well, at least they didn't rip off his balls!"  he matter of factly replied.

Revolutionary

My nearly five year old greeted one of his friends on the way home from school, enthusiastically explaining how he was going to get four new Tech Decks for his birthday.  "But not from Target because they take your money to decide who the boss of the government is," he declared to the confused child.  We had recently discussed why I was joining the boycott of Target because of their campaign contributions.

"I'm going to throw the government away!"  He concluded on his own with wisdom beyond his years.

Christmas Beauty

About 3 years ago a friend was visitting one summer evening.  He was favoring me with admiring glances and asked Dragon, "Isn't your mother beautiful?" 

Dragon, without hesitation, responded, "Only on Christmas."

Burnt Toast

Dragon and I were driving past the restaurant area of Ojai when we smelled the distinctive scent of burnt toast.  "Smells like someone burnt their toast," I said surprised that even restaurants could make that mistake. 

"I think I've smelt that before," Dragon said.

"Well, I've burnt plenty of toast," I replied.

"But it's never smelt as delicious as this!" he declared.

I guess now I know I can burn the toast, not only without fear, but with enthusiasm.